To mark this highly improbable occurrence (and possible proof of a Divine Being), and to show that I really am not just a grumpy old git (I’ll perhaps accept any of these adjectives individually, but strung together like that it just seems a bit much), I’ve decided to make this entry entirely positive, though perhaps I’m not off to the best start.
We’ve had a few PE lessons now. As well as being drop dead gorgeous (that’s what my mum says, are you calling her a liar?), I’m also quite athletic. On a good week I’ll play a game of footy with similarly arthritic old men, run for an hour or so a couple of times, and do half an hour in the pool. So PE was not something that I was particularly worried about. Except, as far as I can tell, it’s got very little to do with being physically fit, but about co-ordination and control of your body. Nothing wrong with that, but the subjects are things like gymnastics and dance. For a guy with the turning circle of a super-tanker, this is looking a bit more problematic.
Anyway, first lesson we learnt about how to jump and land. I can feel you’re cynicism. I live your cynicism. I mean, how hard can it be? If everyone had to have lessons before they could jump or land, you’d need to be issued with government standard shackles when they reach their first birthday. And if somehow you were taught the jumping before the landing bit, then, Houston, we have a problem. But actually, we’d both be wrong. There is a good way to jump (use arms to gain elevation), and a good way to land (on the ball of the foot).
Our homework for PE last week (strangely, we appear to have more homework for PE than anything else. I applaud that we are being pushed to be good PE teachers, but you’d think that other things would be up there with it, like, for instance, teaching them to read) was to come up with a warm-up on the subject of being still. Yes, I know, I’m with you, but there it is, and it’s actually not so stupid. I’ve thought of a few, but the one I’ve settled on is to teach children a bit of fencing. Not the brown wooden stuff at the end of the garden (though that’s an idea for Design and Technology), but the thing with Foils (absolutely, definitely, not swords).
Or, actually, the thing with make-believe foils, obviously we’re not going to give the little angels any of those. Even here I fear I’m entering dangerous territory. At risk of sexual stereo-typing, boys do seem to find ways of beating each other to within an inch of their lives, without their teacher putting the idea of swords into their minds (doh! I mean Foils), and actually showing them what to do if you had one. But, hey, it’s an Olympic sport, something we’ve historically done OK in, so I’m going for it anyway.
I intend to teach the “en guard” position, how to move forward, how to move back, how to thrust, and most importantly of all, how to be still in between all of these. I don’t know if you’ve actually tried it, but its very good fun, I commend it to you.
So, there we have it, 6 weeks into the course, and I have an idea for the introduction to one PE lesson for older primary school children.
Maybe the rest of the course is going to be a little more intensive than I had thought.
The road to Blackberry Hill 
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