I got the results of my grammar test back, and I passed. Strange things do happen. I’m not sure if that is our only test, but I think that means that I’m now qualified to instruct the youth of this nation in the mysteries of English grammar. I suspect I’m not the only one fearing for the future at this point.
The pass mark was 75%. I actually got quite a lot more than this, but looking at the results of the paper, I’ve no idea why the ones I got wrong were wrong. Call me old fashioned but wouldn’t you want your prospective teachers to get pretty much 100% on this, give or take the odd slip up? I mean, if you’re learning to drive, you kinda want you’re driving instructor to get the brake pedal right more than three quarters of the time. Though, judging by some of the driving around our neck of the woods lately, I think there are a few people out there who have forgotten which is the brake pedal altogether.
We had out first MA seminar this week. It’s an “optional” part of the course that everyone has been enrolled on. But we’re not doing an MA, we’re doing a PGCE (M), which means you’re doing a PGCE with a little bit of MA tacked on the side. You don’t end up with an MA at the end of it. Confused? So am I, and everyone else on the course, and, I suspect, potential employers. Possible interview progresses thus –
“So, it looks like you failed to get your MA then?”
“No, I completed the course successfully”
“So you have got an MA?”
“Er, no, it wasn’t an MA course”
“But the M bit in the PGCE(M) is for MA?”
“Yes, you do MA work but don’t get an MA”
“So if you didn’t do the MA work you’d fail the course?”
“No, you’d still qualify as a teacher”
“OK, so you did this why exactly?”
“Umm….”
“Thanks, we’ll let you know”
Thing is, not only do I not know really why we’re doing it, but I’m also not sure what it really entails. Our homework for this week is to write a journal detailing key moments in your life to date, and to draw out some underlying personality traits from this. This bothers me on a couple of fronts. Firstly, I’m twice as old as most people on the course, so that’s twice as much work for me. For most of those guys, the most traumatic event they’ve encountered is failing to get tickets to the Blue gig.
Some of them even appear to go into shock when they find out how old I am. I was in the student union bar the other day (yes, I have been, once). It was late and people had been seeking to take maximum advantage of the alcohol subsidy, and the person I was talking to, as much as any. In fact she didn’t look too steady on her feet. But I don’t think it was a coincidence that she dropped her glass at exactly the point I told her I am in my 40’s.
The other thing about the homework is a deep, profound, existential “why”? Maybe I was in the City too long, but one lesson I learnt there is that sometimes the best thing you can do is – do what is required and do it very well, even if it is patently and profoundly stupid. Maybe we should re-write the folk story, this time the emperor would be lauded for his new suit, rather than being ridiculed for it. So I will do my timeline, I will do it very well, and hopefully pass.
And if you see businessmen in the City wandering around apparently naked, you will be mistaken. It’s my new line in suits, coming soon to an M&S near you.
The road to Blackberry Hill 
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